Dear Horse Friends,
Mommy is still CRAZY but I am starting to get used to her WICKED ways. She is trying to blind me! She keeps covering my eyes with this mask thingy, I just don’t get it. I am getting really good at getting it off though. I set a personal record and got it off 5 times in one day, I was so proud of myself. How cool am I?! It would have been more but Mommy couldn’t keep up. We might need to call out the guy who records all the world records, I know I would be famous!
Mommy smiles real big when I walk on crazy things that aren’t dirt nor grass, she is so weird but I humor her anyways. She also walks me over bridges and these fat white sticks. It’s kinda boring, I’d rather be eating grass.
I got Mommy real good the other day! She was trying to lift my back leg and I kicked her! I am so cool! Apparently Mommy didn’t think so because she smacked me on my butt then I got a lecture about how I am NOT allowed to kick at humans bla, bla, bla. Now that I think of it, I have NEVER seen my big brothers kick or bite Mommy. Well, I need to teach them ALL a thing or two. I keep trying to convince Mommy to let me out with them so I can teach them this but she won’t listen to me. I am one tough cookie and can totally hold my own but she keeps putting me in my room by myself, so NOT fair!
Sometimes I give Mr. Grumpy Pants the evil eye and he pins his ears at me. All Mommy says is, “Thunder be nice.” Really!? That’s it? Thunder be nice. He doesn’t even get in trouble or a lecture but yet I kick Mommy and I get smacked AND I get lectured! So NOT fair!
One day I was snuggling Mommy ever so sweetly. I was being so loving and enjoying her company. I nuzzled right up to her then I nibbled on her. She smacked the crap out of me! That was so NOT cool! Then I thought maybe her hand slipped so I tried to nibble her again and she smacked me again! ME! She smacked ME! Doesn’t she know i am BOSS mare! Who does she think she is!? I was being so sweet and loving! What gives her the right!? Someone really needs to talk to her about this. I’m the only girl here so that makes me in charge of everyone doesn’t Mommy know her place? She can’t be a BOSS mare, she is human. Humans can’t possibly be in charge and be BOSS mare…. Or can they?
OMG! OMG! OMG! What is going on? Please advise!
Love,
Nova